Sunday, March 29, 2009


I have certainly realised that as a human being, you will always be alone in life. Human's rarely care and when they do, it is at their own convenience.

(I have got off to a great start, alienating all human's)

I am not a superior human to come to this realisation. I have just been brought up to care for others, in being there for them, lending an ear, treating people the way you would like to be, and always standing by that rule, "doing it not to recieve"

So where do you draw the line? and state the bleeding obvious, that you are not being treated the way you would like to be. Isn't that in itself going against the rule?

I can't believe that I am well into my late twenties and only now am I understanding how scary life is. Why? you ask. To not have someone to connect with, to not have an ear to listen to, to not have a person to simply be there for you...

These are all very likely possibilities.

Another discovery I have recently made is that my downfall, in which Humans tend now to judge and see me by, is very much linked to the social upheaval that plagued me a few years back. The humans were shifting, their branches growing faster than ever as my seedling was not being watered. The life I had created around me was leaving me, it was not in my never was.

The meaning of life to me is quite simple, Obtain what life mean's to you

But what is it to be human? do you have to be a man? do you have to make a difference? do you have to just be?

My journey never ends.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just Say What You Mean: Part One

are you sure?
what about noon?
um...2pm then?
well you tell me.
1pm won't suffice.
I'm not being a smartass!
It just mean's...
I am not trying to display I am smarter than you...
that's pretty unfair...I...I think
I do think you are smart.
Yes you are.
You're taking it out of context...I just said...
see your not listening.
you do this all the time.
Yes you do.
C'mon! Don't! Don't hang up, that's so immature doi...
I never said you were immature, I basically said that the act of hanging up is imm...
I really can't do this.
No. not the whole thing, again you misquote me...
For the last time I am not trying to show you up...It's just you and I on the phone!
I'm not screaming

To Be Continued

Monday, March 23, 2009

Remember Fender

Progress Report

Day One: Monday, 22nd December 2008

I spent a day at the park with my mini dv camera, that at the moment, sometimes records sound. It was not needed anyhow as I was capturing images to make up five of the archive video art pieces that are displayed in the film. It was shot in 4:3 and i think will use maybe 30% of the images in the video art pieces entitled "confined" and "free as a bird".

Day Two: Thursday, 26th February 2009

Cinematographer and Producer for 'Fender' Iurgi Urrutia spent a day capturing images for all the five video art pieces. The five pieces entitled "confined", "free as a bird", "holes", "feet" and "light switched".

Day Three: Monday, 9th March 2009

Was the first shoot with actors and it got off to a bad start. Luckily I got up nice and early to by a few miscellaneous items. My car did not start. So Jason had to stop catering and drive myself to the plaza to buy the items, I came back and had a discussion with the RACV and ran back inside to help Jason with the cooking. We got their on time at 3pm and all three scenes were filmed, 1, 10, and 11. at various locations. A house and an undercover ground car park, with an elevator entrance. The characters filmed were Charlie and Leon King, Played by Marco and Luca Finanzio respectively. The crew was made up of myself directing, Iurgi Urrutia as cinematographer, Jason Marando as Sound and Assitant, and Fiona Scarmozzino as Still Photographer, in which will also act as archive footage for the film, along with DVD stills and festival pictures. In between scenes 1 and 11 we had dinner cast and crew catered for by Jason Marando. We thank the Finanzio's for their assistance and location.

Day Four: Saturday 14th March 2009

The scenes we shot on day four were 3, 4, and 5. Scenes 4 and 5 were shot first in our set, made into an office. Scene five was a flashback/archive footage scene, shot in a nearby toilet and coridoor. The Characters for the day were Asier Agirre and Rosaline Fender played by Iurgi Urrutia and Anna Meadows. The crew consisted of again, myself directing, Iurgi Urrutia as cinematographer, Jason Marando as Sound and Assitant. We thank Maria Angelica for the location.

Day Five: Sunday 15th March 2009

Day Five consisted of Anna Meadows and Iurgi Urrutia filming an extra scene at their house, it is basically scene 5, that will give us variety in shots and location if needed in teh editing room.


Day Six: Saturday 4th April 2009
Day Seven: Saturday 18th April 2009
Day Eight: Saturday 25th April 2009
Day Nine: Sunday 26th April 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Lenny: Volume One

As it’s horn sang out it helped Lenny believe that the train was on time, he was heading north, and the train with its big beaming yellow lights among the smog of the wintry cold morning’s of the town that brought him only depression, angst and made him feel small was only a hop, step and a seat away from here. To add to the haven he was about to enter came with it a little surprise when he outspread his freshly printed newspaper which was folded under his arm. It read in font size 48, times new roman, bold and centered “THE WAR IS OVER” to his aspiring passion, it is over, “IT IS OVER” he screams out to all that wait for the train, but as he turned his head the commuters had vanished, he stood frozen in disbelief for a whole minute “what has happened” he questioned his brain “where have all the people gone”. Lenny finally came through, his senses had come back to haunt him, suddenly there were no bright yellow lights and the fog had lifted, the train had gone, what happened to all the people and the train? But the echo of the train’s horn still remained. He raised the newspaper back up to eye level to regain his sanity, the ink that had printed the words in front of him before had disappeared like a balloon to the wind, what was this, it can’t be, the words now read

As he heard the cries of a voice in need “Help! Help Me! Someone Please!”

He let go and as quick as the paper fell to the wet gravel pavement, amazingly the train was not late the dim yellow lights shone through and blinded his eyes the horn rang out louder and louder, and as the train gained ground the horn got squeakier, sharper and was more rapid, His sight slightly returned to see the oncoming train in his direction, the horn was piercing his hearing capabilities, he had no direction the desperate cry’s of the woman were leaving him, he was stuck, frozen, he shut his eye’s.

In a split second he opened his eye’s to a the squeaking light from the side of a slightly opened wooden door, and a more irritating, common ringing. He turned his head from the light in the door to faded neon digital red lights that read 6:38. In confusion his eyes sent a message through to his veins that made the journey to his brain that struck the right cord and rushed back to his eyes, to signify that he was safe, it was a dream and with that a wet little ball of fluid made it’s way down to his cheek from his eye, he knew better than to wipe the tear away, hold on he thought is it, don’t touch you’re forehead? Or face? Or both, when you don’t want to forget your dream? He remembered his mothers face and that unleashed another streaming ball of fluid down his cheek.


Lenny decides to slap the snooze button. He settles on the idea to turn his body with the barrage of pillows and blankets to the other side of the bed for another 9 minutes of extended rest. As he turns he feels the whiskers of his face rub up against the cold, freshly turned pillow and sigh’s as he need’s the extra 9 minutes to shave off the unwanted facial hair.

Like a band-aid he rips off the blankets for best results and with a giant leap is in the bathroom ready for the test of time. The plan is do your business, shave and shower. The toilet flushes as it runs through the burdened dark house. He makes his way to the mirror, as he glare’s at his own reflection he has a good think about the dream, what does it mean? What does the end of the war mean? What did the paper say? Who was screaming out?

The mirror is appropriately placed that he isn’t weighed down with the aspect of making himself suitable for the society that stands in his way everyday. The dark wavy short hair, green eyes by dawn brown by dusk, is overshadowed by the plaster on the wall. Everyday he settles for the thing’s he can see, that are what he believes and all he knows is that he has a great metabolism considering the lack of home cooked meals he does not devour, and that he stands at 6 foot small.

Sliding his charcoal non-iron pleats, shirt wrinkled but hidden by his double breasted jacket and a light pale blue tie, to go with a matching knot tied in since he started his job. Lenny’s passion for the job was overshadowed by his attitude on himself and the way all of his prospects and thoughts could be undermined by the lack of his appearance.

“ding-ding” sounded out the communicator to downstairs

Dragging his socks across the almost hardened by winter, floorboards, Lenny moved over to the communicator and pressed the little flashing green light’s button. He must of known who it was! Or was he half asleep? The rat pack clock the hung over the fireplace read 6.58.

“Hey stranger”

It was Alice the cleaning lady, on time as usual. Alice 5.2” with long brown hair, and crystal intent blue eyes. She held her self well for a petite woman smaller than Lenny felt. Alice could be known as a little too chirpy for the unbearable cold morning’s, but with that she was as warm as the sun rise outshining the frost. Alice was the closet thing Lenny had to a mother. Amazingly as reserved as Lenny can be, Alice knew so much about the young man she looks after....

To Be Continued...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Thanks for listening

Finding out,
Shouting out.
With eye and ear,
With no fear.

Swelling on the outside,
Dwelling on the inside.
Im beaten,
Im eaten.

Thanks for listening

Written on my face,
Written in my eyes.
Without chemicals,
With balls.

Ripples on the outside,
Tremors on the inside.
I'm stretching,
I'm itching.

Thanks for listening

Reality on the outside,
Dreaming on the inside.
I'm guessing,
I'm fessing.

Thanks for listening

Thursday, March 19, 2009


I knew each second and could name them individually,
I saw every minute, every hour,
time slipped me by.

I spent so much time punishing myself,
now it was killing me,
each second and every entity that passed me by,
All would have enough time it seemed to wave and say good-luck - you'll need it.

Its as if time itself was mocking me
its as if time wanted me to catch it, bottle it and save it, knowing full well, it was impossible, but the fact that id try to, would make each tick of the clock laugh at me.

Time will never be on my side

Monday, March 16, 2009


I can not stand commercials where the actors are dancing to some jingle devised to make you get up at home and bop along to a new credit agency or the latest one for "subway". If i danced like that while asking for jalapeno's in my foot-long roast chicken, i reckon the pimply faced 15 and a half year old girl, who has taken the job to save up for braces will slap me silly!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Ban Portraiture Photography

When people are taking portrait photographs what is reason for them to rub cheeks together? is this a paris hilton thing? what is the reason? I dont think they are trying to squeeze into the shot, i mean we do have panoramic lenses now, and photography technology is so advanced we can fit 8 people into a shot without rubbing cheeks like friggen eskimos.

oh and people pretending to blow kisses, yes it is affectionate and fun, but please, the same bloody pose all the time, I say "Ban the portrait photo" all photos must now be observational!