Wednesday, December 15, 2010

To a friend

To a friend,

I know how you feel, I do. You feel alone, insecure, unloved, unresolved, empty, pending. I know, I do.
Here I'll go, I'll lie, you'll be fine, summer's will feel warm again, clouds will move away, love will stay.
Here I'll go, I'll lie, you'll feel all that you do now.

Truth is I don't know, no one knows. Not you not her.

Comfort is in knowing that you are in the majority. You have not lost, only experienced.
To suck in the thick air on top of mountains, is only succeeded by the lost sweat, blood and tears you need to endure.
It feels finite, it is not, your not even half way.
Take comfort that you are 1 in nearly 7 billion, take comfort that in your lull other beauties emerge, friendship, solidarity, backbone, courage, respect...all things a man should be judged by.
Through our conversations I know without a doubt you posses all of those.

Go through the motions, it is what humans need to do. Without the negative, the positive would not exist. Without loss, gain would not exist. We need hurt as much as we need love, otherwise all the good in life will not exist. It is all part of you and everyone.

Remember it is ok to fear, it is ok to doubt, it is ok to lose, it is ok just to be...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Notes In My Head

Moving the edges,
the new sprouts of spring.
Weissenberg's 'debussy' runs through your veins,
replacing the brewing blood as it now rushes to your head.

Winter's gone but in this town,
we still weather the storm.
Piano seeps through waxy ears,
like last seasons rust, replaced by new life.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Tommy And The Bones

One thing I love to do while feeding my 10 year old dog Tommy, is to wait for him to bury his bones. Then without words, the game between animal and man begins.

He waits out my first move like a good old chess game. While fixated on his new toy/food, he quickly moves his head from left to right to observe the scene like an expert bank robber. He then looks up at me, I give way, I heed to the staircase and pretend to go inside. Game on!

Tommy makes his way to his desired part in the garden, he then attempts to bury his bone. All the while, I sit upon the porch looking down on his every move, you could say this Chess game has a cheater.

Tommy heads back to his bowl minus the bone. Our eyes glance at each other as we cross paths. His big worried eyes say to me "I wonder if Dean saw where I buried my bone?" I move over to the fresh grave he just dug. By this time Tommy sprints over. He plants his foot atop of the fresh dirt to protect his investment. Easily moved, I dig up the bone and replace it in it's original bowl.

Back and forth the charade continues, with every attempt bringing a new hiding place.

Every time we come back to the starting point of the neverending game and interchange stares, I believe Tommy thinks "Wow this guy won't get the hint, I can do this ALL DAY!"

Monday, October 25, 2010

TV Trasher's : The Experience

Around 2 months ago a friend (Steve-O) and I started a TV disposing hobby aptly named 'TV Trasher's'. What do we do?
Well we grab abandoned TV's from footpaths and nature-strips outside the house's of their past owners, who in turn in all likelihood have a new 50 inch plasma TV sitting inside their lounge room now.

We bring them back to a private residence and simply drop them off rooftops, ladders and also club in the Tv tubes with nine irons, putters and pitching wedges. We finish off the insides with secateurs, pliers, crow bars, hammers and even mallets for a funny finish.

The TV Trasher's have since gone on 2 otuings disposing of 3 TV's and 4 in stock for safe removal.

The experience itself is usually relieving frustration and weirdly liberating. The sense you get from trashing a TV and hearing the implosion of it's gases as it makes contact with the cold concrete is amazing, a sound that could not be captured properly on Digital video equiptment. We have talked about getting in a sound recordist!

If you like destruction like most full blooded male's I suggest you trash a TV at least once in your life. Tv Trashing is a great way to dispose of TV's, which end up being small enough to fit into your recycling bin.

Tv trasher's threatens to be a big hobby, with the emergence of new flat screen HD TV's. We already have a few people who have expressed getting involved, male and female! yes!

I've Forgotten To Write

It's been about 3 months I reckon since I last started to seriously write. I mean anything, Screenplay, stories, blogging, journal writing, film reviewing etc.

I have a love hate relationship with my pen, i abuse the fuck out of it playing word games on TV, jotting nothings and infrequently drawing stick figures. When it comes down to writing because I haven't for a while, I just can't. Sometimes I will but that's after an hour of scribbling shit! I figure, I have had nothing to really write about.

For me, writing is about getting all the feelings pent up inside out on paper. Secrets shared between me and my pen and a bit of blank paper.

Lately the whole process of writing and more importantly, needing to has dissipated into worrying, panic and anxiety. I have translated my feelings inward, with a slight case of misanthropy again.
Forcing the pen=wrong!

The last important thing I wrote other than the shopping list was a letter to myself while in a dark place one night listening to Elephants Instrumental by Rachel Yamagata over and over again.
Music=flowing pen!

The spark has gone kids, so I start to write about THAT experience = Writing! 

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Is This Correct?

Is this correct
I feel a change coming on
my own government abandons me

Thanks to family and friends
I will have support
caring and filled with love

When fear and frustration collide
there will be no reason to hide
only the nerves that rest inside

To the one's that left
I feel only calm
go with my love

Don't, don't me
I will as I will
living inside a beautiful world

Trading the comfy warmth
for a trip up the icy road
spray as you go

With a whisper and a hug
they set me off
to be alone again

Fictitious songs and films
building courage in a paper bag
no torch for my map

Is this correct?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

She's A Ghost Inside Me

Purse your salty lips,
oceans she sips.

Homebound at our alter,
perfect you will never falter.

Leave and give way,
don't stay.
Recall the lyrics,
of our hysterics.

I run through the forest,
in my sunday best.
This is what I see,
all the ghosts that live inside me went free.


Hey You

I know I inherited it from you,
why didn't you tell me, warn me, help me?
It's only a hunch, because I don't know you.
Thinking of my lifeless life with you,
where was my lesson, my warning?
thanks for all the nothing you did,
know I'm you with the safety on,
give me your vice's for I don't need your virtue's
they don't reflect on me, so why do I need them?
A lot of questions need answering
why do I bear your scars?
Help me, now I'm asking
don't worry about it, it wasnt instant
what's the point of waiting on hope
when I am hardly of you
You taught me to do the opposite
I'm supposedly thankful
but I'm not a cliche'
thing's I lost in the storm
the constant struggle
not knowing which way you were flowing
I don't remember anything
I have no memories
Sad, fearful I lost
I have no photographs
there are no images of the good times
where there good times?
more questions
I know, I'm too much for you
I'm wrapped up in a ball of love
not your love
not of you
but love that needs filling
I know now that with or without
It needs filling
not by you, your chance has passed?
I don't know
I was a tree that needed to be pruned
Instead I collapsed on my self
surviving while the others flourish into the sky
My life is torment within life's garden
where are you?
Go away
your a contradiction I learnt
How will I ever be a man?
If you never were
Life without direction is like a puppet without a voice
someone pulls my strings
let them go
give me my own voice back
struggling to survive in this jungle of choices
this ocean of waves
in the desert of dry mouths
I needed a hand
a guide for this city
not a map
your hand
instead I write
searching, searching, searching
where was the folder I threw away?
case file: you
I need it
I'm without a base
no research
your a blank page
i don't know how to start my book
on your shoulders I once stood
but I know what I will do
what will I do?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My Heart Want's Out

This i'll shout,
my heart wants out.

Banging your drum,
along my throat,
to the beat of the hum,
it's all your fault.

This i'll shout,
my heart wants out.

Giving me a glance,
on my l.c.d.
you won't make me dance,
wrapped up, that's not me.

This i'll shout,
my heart want's out.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Your Words

Again music is fueling me writing,
makes me forget all the over sighting.
don't pay for your words.

When all the shyness,
leaves me with nothing less.
don't pray for your words.

Like a rake in the sand,
she cheers me with a wave of her hand.
don't cut your words.

Loosing the colours from my eyes,
a little in her dies.
don't write your words.

She finds comfort in me,
we promise just to be.
don't justify your words.

One day i''l write a masterpiece,
from her I will lease.
don't forget your words.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Title?

So I just got a massive burst of inspiration for a new short film I am writing. I know the plot and as usual it will be a few days before my team find out. You see I have been jotting in my Project 2010 notebook. I can't write on this keyboard creatively, which I am sure you are all aware.

Anyhow, now I am in the midst of changing the name. Checking with IMBD to see if the film clashes, that isn't so bad I guess, but you don't want the same sort of film with the same name to exist, to me, it is just wrong.

I have "Living within a house of cards" for the moment. It seems too long, but is that a bad thing? probably not, but most importantly it needs to prompt an audience to view, not be overused and have specific meaning to the story. Anyhow I will keep working it out. No rush.

In other news related, I have an ending. Actually I have a couple. What's more is that all the images of the story are in my head, and what's weird is that they are not leaving. I'm not forgetting them. A first for me as they usually leave like dreams escape before I write them down in the morning.

Can You Hear?

Cold day and you notice the sleeves
their dead on their knees
there is no devotion
only emotion
and they've worked out the crossword
singing without their songbird

Can you hear me at all?

Hot day and you notice no sleeves
their up from their knees
there is no emotion
only devotion
but they've ruined the crossword
singing with his songbird

Can you hear me now?

Thursday, August 5, 2010


This was her last day on Earth and she knew it. Her mind was clear, she knew what to do. You see, 3 months ago a she visited a palm reader and subsequently, this was the final day for her. She was ultra busy for the last 3 months and only managed to free up one day within that time. She decided to make it the last day for obvious reasons.

One thing was playing on her mind though. It was the thought of when? She knew it was this day, but when? at 11:59 and 59 seconds? or sometime during the day? or even the stroke of midnight, and how would she get the correct time synced to all of her expensive time reading devices.

Over the past 3 months her goal while still busy at work was to look up ebay in her spare time and purchase clocks, all sorts of time reading devices, from Analogue clocks, digital wrist watches, calculator clocks, new ipod docks, countdown and stop watches, dutch cuckoo clocks, she bought a sun dial she set up in her back yard and even an old grandfather clock made by a German time master from the world war II era. You name it, she probably had it.

Her house was like a clock museum awaiting the arrival of her death. She remembered, there was a cheap digital LCD watch the palm reader gave her. Maybe she could flip a switch and it would give her the time, from what she remembered it had only the date. She locked that away in mind and locked the digital watch away in a safe.

She ran upstairs hurriedly and in anticipation, came to the picture frame of a cat wearing a wrist watch and checking it smartly. Ripped the picture frame off, put in her code, 25 left, 13 right, 2 turns and 17 on the left. Click it was open. The wrist watch she couldn't get quick enough on her right wrist. The date read Thursday 12th of July, she looked over to her left wrist and it also read Thursday 12th of  July, she quickly clicked the switch on the left wrist watch and it read 11:49 A.M. she hesitantly reached over to her right wrist, pressed the switch, it read 3:30 P.M. That was sorted, her time of death would be no longer than 3 hours and 41 minutes.

She knew what she had to do, she had to set every clock in the house to ring at 3.30 P.M. She had grown accustomed to the rings, chimes, dings and even chirps of her the clocks, it was the sound she would die to. She quickly set her left wrist alarm for 3.30 then ran as quick as she could downstairs, wearing socks was probably a bad idea, as she slipped on the 7th step from the ground and tumbled over banging her head several times on the railing and steps.

Her story faded to black.

An annoying ringing could be heard. The kind of alarm that would wake the worst drunk. it was deafening to her ear. She was slowly coming through. Her eyes were adjusting as they squinted from black to sharp whites and quickly formed an image of her ceiling roof, slowly brought up her wrist to her eye line. The clock blurred into a vision that read 3:39 P.M.

She squealed in pain, but with joy. She was alive! The Alarm went off again after no snooze had been hit. Suddenly her life was in full grasp, she was back. She let out a whaling cry, full of life. She was happy and alive. She ripped off her watches and threw them to her left while still lying on her back. They hit something and broke, she gasped. She turned over in excruciating pain to see the damage she had caused.

A mirror awaiting her appearance was in full sight. she found it hard to make out as it was cracked in many places distorting the image. she panned down from her face til she got to her stomach and paused, then closed her eyes. She gulped expecting the worst. Slowly opening her eyes again, it was revealed, a chimney rod. It had pierced her belly, she let out a girlish cry. She had lost a lot of blood, she felt her self fainting again, she gave way to the feeling and her eyelids were closing slowly, her breathing became slower, til she faded away into the sounds of her alarm going off again another 9 minutes later.

Ode To Thom

A boy born into peril,
A boy with no family,
A boy that grew strong,
A boy who left town,
A boy with big love,
A boy who wrote a play,
A boy that had a boy,
A boy who died alone.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Weird In Winter

This may seem strange in early August and it's not the fact that I have a cold. It's not even that it was 12 degrees centigrade on Sunday with hail, wind and rain, but the fact that through my nasally cough, headache, sore throat etc. I can sense spring.

That's right, with this cold and in this state of being sick, my senses are feeling and smelling spring in the air. I told you this was strange. I guess when sick you take on a different kind of breathing pattern and a much more deeper and conscious one at that. I can smell the air, the grass, the rain and it's lovely.

I'm in a heightened state of being, my sleep is out of whack and im starting to feel warm where it's freezing cold. I'm not the kind to hate being sick with a cold, it never really bothers me, bar the sore throat which is atrocious for sleeping.

I'm going with the flow, feeling weird in winter.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Fly Away Into A Bubble

Buy yourself a coat for the summer
go out and buy a big puffy one
keep the cold thoughts away
for a distant moment you fell into obscurity
naked in winter
fly away into a bubble

thoughts are unfinished
music played over gramophone's
in courtyards of your love
wander into the evening
moonlight and space
fly away into a bubble 

lonely in your mind
toiling soil with your feet
numbers and alphabet
return to me in summertime
anxiously in love with my seed
fly away into a bubble

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Project 2010 Progress

So it has now been 2 months since the Remember Fender premiere screening. A massive night that signified the completion of 19 months work. I remember growing my hair as a 15-16 year old for 19 months. It's a bloody long time. Fender is not completely done, we are currently entering festivals for it, throughout the year, although it has been rejected from the first 3 so far. We will see, at the end of the day, the film premiered to a hundred strong audience. We are happy and a screening at a festival will satisfy us.

Three days after the premiere, I remember sitting at my desk starting to read texts for my final semester at university only to be hit with an overpowering feeling of anxiety. I was amazed, it had not happened in a while. I had heaps of time to just get things in order, but the lack of creativity in my distant future hit me like a ton of bricks.

I knew I needed to do something about it, because I can't get back to the anxious ways in previous days before Fender. I immediately started writing creatively. It came to me in visions although the pictures were not translating so easily into words on paper. I quickly opened up a thread on facebook with my closest film collaborators. I wrote all I was thinking in regards to a new project. Without a flinch the two men committed to doing what they loved.

I kind of rested on that and allowed the patience for the story to come to me. I must say, it was kind of an excuse to be lazy and watch 61 of 64 world cup games. by the start of July, I had hit the wall again and knew it was time to kick up a gear.

Last week, a Wednesday night a certain calm came over me, a more in depth calm. Visions were flooding into my head. It was the story. It was all I wished for, but structured. I felt the emotion of the two characters and the location in which this project initially began was easily coming to me. I got my trusty notebook and wrote. Ideas, characters, locations, structure, look, feel, music etc. It was truly amazing. Creating stories to me is the pinnacle of what I can do, what I am good at, the only thing that I know I can do well. 

After the write up, I quickly contacted my collaborators and told them I have the story. Only know it's coming up with the nerve to write a treatment. You see it's a hard task for me and the main reason is the based on the whole "saying it aloud" theory. I have many ideas, but when I speak them to someone, most the time, I discover how awful they are. It's in the process from visual in my mind to paper, where idea's and context get lost. This is where the treatment comes in, the treatment is a shout out of everything the film should be from feel, to story etc. but delivering it to another human being.

But I will get on with it and after hearing back from my collaborators, I will post the successful treatment here. Til then, be creative!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

To Be Humble

When you feel you have everything, its quite important to understand the world does not always replicate how you feel.

Being humble is all about accepting that the rest of the world is different to yourself and understanding
that your happiness is not everyone elses goal.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

So I Ran

So I ran to the sand
reached out with my hand

So I ran to the church
reached out with a lurch

So I ran to the sun
reached out with my gun

So I ran to the commuity
reached out with a city

So I ran to river
reached out with a shiver

So I ran to miss
reached out with a kiss

Friday, July 23, 2010

Go, Go, Go

This is such a simple note
to you who will never quote

go, go, go in your drunken slumber

find me in a dream, turn my face to another
if it helps you sleep through the night
or it may be easier to pretend
turn out the candle light

prose in the morning
prose in the night

go, go, go in your drunken slumber

never used to drink much
changing in the daylight
your skin is as such
all without a fight

my poetry is a mess

go, go, go in your drunken slumber

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Words In My Hand

Words in my hand
laying in tall dried grass
in a distant land
this was all but a farce

Words in my hand
listening to romance
in a distant land
fake at a glance

Words in my hand
our eyes locked
in a distant land
my mind mocked

Words in my hand
there you are in my dreams
in a distant land
failed with all the schemes
Words in my hand

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Dean Martin

If you didn't know I am an unabashed Dean Martin fan.

You see as a youngster of the 80s the norm was to listen to popular music, watch 80s teen films and go with the trend. I had no idea the 80s happened. I had no reference to popular culture. My attentions were towards school which I liked but wondered into creative dreamland, while being woken up with blackboard dusters imprinted on my chest.

Films were also a big part, but I tended to watch Martin & Lewis, Abbott and Costello, Presley, and Martial Arts films my Father would rent for me and my brothers as I was heavily into Karate, also participating two nights a week.

My musical background also had nothing to do with the 80s. I listened to 'Golden Oldies' on my Mother's car stereo, at home to Creedence, Joe Cocker and Janis Joplin on her Cassette tape and to horse races on my Father's car stereo. At my grandparents house I would listen to Dean Martin, One of my Grandmothers favourite.

He is my favourite singer, The baritone voice, the charisma in the words and the easy flow music that has stood the test of time. People think of Dean Martin as the fellow who sung 'That's Amore' that Italo-American song of the 50s, but Dean is much more than that. To me, he is the coolest cat that ever lived.

'Motivation is a lotta crap' -Dean Martin-

By far my most used quote, he is right, Human's only do things as they need to be done, not for a motivational reasoning. If I have to do something, then I just will...OR....won't. It is simply your choice, or mine.

It just displays the man's easy way at looking at life, from the music he chose to sing and how he did. If you listen to live recordings of Dean, you will truly understand what I mean. First and foremost he was an entertainer and one of the funniest comedians I have ever seen, bar, Jerry Lewis.

Many may not know but Mr. Martin was nominated for 4 Emmy's and 5 Golden Globes with one win, for his hit show "The Dean Martin Comedy Hour" which I have seen many episodes and they are hilarious. The show ran for 9 years from 65-74 and Dean signed the biggest contract at NBC ever. You see the man was loved and would attract guest like Orson Welles, John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope, Milton Berle, Geroge Burns, Bing name them, chances are they were on it.

The laid back attitude is a treasure to have, something only a few years ago, I prided myself on. When I am at most happiest or in need of a cheer up, you will hear the tunes of Mr. Martin blaring through my house...Oh with myself trying to keep up with his Royalty.

I want for one day to be able to incorporate his music within a short film of mine.  His music appears on more than 150 films and TV of note. I looked into using his music once, but it was a maze...but who day.

Anyhow, if you havent heard of the man, please do so, it won't let you down, get a Capitol recording, or a live recording from the Sands Casino, or a Rat Pack recording, or watch an episode of The Dean Martin Show, or a Celebrity roast and you will know what I am talking about...

A man who could sum up love in one verse, then make you laugh at it, then make you think - true! then make you sing it ALL day long. I'll leave you with this one;

"How lucky can one guy be,
I kissed her and she kissed me.
Like the fella once said,
Ain't that a kick in the head"

For IMBD Profile

Therapy In The Snow

To all the departed ones
and to all the inevitable rising suns

To all the broken hearts
and to all the morning starts

To all the lost souls
and to all the empty holes

Go forth and write your words
of sorrow, misery and loss

Therapy in the snow
Only you could know, yours is a,
Therapy in the snow

Thursday, July 15, 2010

To Hibernate

She came to me in the Summer of my life,
Missed Spring,
Changed me in Autumn,
Left me alone during Winter,

To Hibernate.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Personal Update

So, after heated debate with the circuits upstairs that reside in my brain, I have decided to let it all hang out (reminds me of a Van Morrison song). My decision is solely based on the fact that I have it all in me to write at this point of time in my life, just can't seem to put it down, through a keyboard or pen. I totally forgot music, you see music is like ink to me, it sends me in all different directions,

"Most of the time I have nothing to say
When I do it's nothing and nobody's there to listen anyway"
-Ryan Adams-

I know most of the time I don't have much to say, but lately I'm understanding it's a product of my environment and has been for a long time. I need to be stimulated and mostly that's through conversing, I enjoy interaction and human beings, I really do. Just most times, I'm never in the mood, go figure, I've tried.

The writing bug is back but I'm scared how long it will stay this time. I hope it lasts as long as I need to get through University essays, a new untitled screenplay, The Film (B)log reviews, and my own prose, short stories and ramblings.

May was a massive month for me organising the film premiere for Remember Fender, it culminated in the night itself to end May. It was a very special night to me and I suggest will be better than any graduating night I may have in my life.

June saw me bring in my last birthday in my twenties and start the countdown to which should be just another year passed, but with those numbers in sight sets off a countdown that I can't seem to shrug off. I get a sense that even if Uni was done with, Work was set up, I'd still be unfullfilled and the prospective birthday would be as daunting. The fact is that since I was a toddler milestones have always played a big part, from football games, high school scores and my 10th birthday to ring in a few. I'll try to get my head around it, I promise.

So after the initial birthday week, June flew by, I felt like I needed time off, but I may have taken much more than I wanted to. The world cup was on and being in Australia the daily life to a world cup devotee meant a sleepless month and structures i've built up around me like meals and excercise put second. It's taken about a week and I have recovered.

Today is Wednesday and I promised I'd be writing by yesterday's date, in which I did, but quickly stopped. But here I am again today, writing to you, that's right, you upstairs buddy! Trying to figure out and set my path again, for the next half of the year, which is well belated. If I have nothing else to show for my life, I know I will have my written word. The stories, critiques, rants, life lessons, and philosophies, all I need now is someone to share them with.

Inside My Mind

The record function is not fucntioning

The raw footage remains

I need more space for new recordings

Inside my mind

New memories won't fit

There is not enough room

Ill make a deal

Inside my mind

You give me space for new memories

Ill archive the past

I promise to keep even the sad ones

Inside my mind

I am not removing her, them, him, that from my mind

But the potential to record

Not to overwrite

Inside my mind

So, condense the old files

Label them 'My History 18-29'

I promise to keep it filed away, memories...

Inside my mind

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Drink Up

Writing out my heart

Feelings left in a paper bag

Set it on fire

Ashes beneath my feet

Rain washes away

Drink the earth

Monday, July 12, 2010

I'm On My Side

The future lies within

I try to play it like a piano

Slowly in my approach

Creating notes

Direction is for the unique

Talking to it

Strings pull organs

Fever's swept up inside

Faint feelings reside

I'm on my side
I'm on my side

Saturday, June 5, 2010

United 93 (2006)

 Paul Greengrass of the 'Bourne' films directs this true account of the 93 passengers that died in the terrorist hijacking of the plane that went down in Pennsylvania, US. Usually I enjoy a good old 'plane going down' story, here I was out of that element. All thanks go to the vomit inducing camera work that Greengrass employs. It works fantastically well in the Bourne films and they for action films are in my opinion at the top of their game. It just does not work here for me.

Call me an ass, but I hate true stories that get nations worked up to the point of being patriotic about their people. It reaks of those propaganda war films of WWII. I take nothing away from the people that went to their death and the fear, bravery they went through and their poor families. But I am talking about being entertained through the medium of film. I indeed was not.

I'm sure there will be those of you that love this film and are moved by it. But simply it's a film that passes as a true account, about something I have seen a dozen times already and not directed very well at all.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Remember Fender Reviews

On the night of premiere, I made sure we had a rating and thoughts card for anyone to fill out.

Here are the reviews, I have omitted names and ratings, so here you will see thoughts from some of the 100 people that attended on the night.

#1 "Truely professional, creative and aspirational. Guys; have confidence in yourselves, as its the only thing bringing you down; sell your self and your creativity you have earnt it and yo definately deserve it! love me xx---P.T.O.---Speak up, you have earnt this-you created this and most importantly you deserve this. Your passion your spirit and your drive is evident. This is much more than many producers will ever deliver, and in one "short art house film" you have accomplished this. Congrats and don't forget us from the 'Bur' and facebook xx"

#2 Very Entertaining, Keep up the good work

-Pretty good acting
-very creative

#4 Very creative and very funny. I hope you follow your dream and do well in the future. You deserve to succeed.

#5 Well done! this was a great short film, the plot was clear and the characters were funny + shoed enthusiasm. Keep up the good work.

#6 A great idea to get everyone together to celebrate the project! you have a great film - thanks for letting me be part of it! Good luck with film festivals etc.

#7 Very witty, clever and thoroughly entertaining. Hope to see more. Keep up the good work.

#8 I will never forget Fender! Brilliant, loved it. Well done everyone involved.

#9 fender (ralph) is wonderful and the mother-too good

#10 As a low profile movie it wasnt too bad. Although it was ridiculous humour, it was enough to make you go "what the hell's he on". Overall it was a fair attempt. Could be generally funnier but what you have done is something exciting. Only concern, laughs were at extremely exagerated lines.

#11 You are amazing, you brought back a lot of beautiful memories, Not only did it have a good story, love the great humour too.

#12 Congratulations. All the hard work has paid off! you pulled it off! I loved your movie! I know its going to do well. you have just opened the door. and i hope success follows. You deserve it. all the best.

Friday, May 28, 2010

An Open Letter To The Remember Fender Cast & Crew

The films concept came to me back in 2006 at Deakin. The unit I undertook was Independent Production. We were given the task to create a dialectical film narrative. I took lessons I learnt in various classes about Video artists and documentary and fused both into what was a mockumentary. Influences included Yoko Ono’s 1966 bottom’s a video art piece spanning 80 minutes, were you only saw nude bottoms. I felt unease at this, that art could be formed so un-intelligently. Another influence was “this is spinal tap” I used elements of looking back on the life of an artist. and the last influence was a 1966 - Don't Look Back, by Donn A. Pennebaker about Bob Dylan's tour of England. I took elements of celebrity and naivety from that.  So the film was made over 3 consecutive night one weekend with friends who helped behind and in front of the camera. It was guerilla film-making at it’s ultimate. No money, no sets, no lighting. I got a good reception at a screening at uni but left it at that.

A couple of year later and after conversations about the possibilities one sunny Sunday in september over a bbq and beer, they had officially persuaded me to do it again, this time on a scale that would justify such a job. Anna and Iurgi are Remember Fender’s biggest fans, they took on roles on the production that without them this would not have existed. I want to thank you again for believing in the project and more importantly in me.

So in October of 2008 a script was in motion with Iurgi my supervisor and co-producer to kick my arse and critique me on every step of the way. Script was complete by Feb of 2009 while pre-production had got underway.

I want to thank Iurgi and Anna who saw something I didnt even see in the film. And that was pure potential. Especially Iurgi who was present at every thing we did throughout this film. He would be on set/location before me, chirping me up and making sure the job was done. You are totally professional Iurgi and a great film-maker in your own right, I am your biggest fan behind Anna. We work well, criticising each others works constantly which in turn delivers a higher quality of product we produce. I am very happy to call you my partner in everything we have done together. I know I have learnt a lot from him. Thanks. Iurgi and Anna would and still support me through film times and times were you just need a friend. On top of all that Iurgi would always travel up to 90 minutes at a time, even to his dislike of the Melbourne Public transport system. What’s even more, Iurgi continually makes the trip just to hang out and be an unbelievable friend of mine. I have nothing but admiration for you my friend.

I also want to send a massive thank you to my friend Steve Ramsie. Steve-O you are a magnificent jewel in what we call Fender. Steve came late to the team, but was invaluable. He started doing some sound for us. Steve is an intelligent film-maker who is as massive a film buff I know. He lives it He breathes it. We were stuck on editing Fender for a couple of months. It was after when we were well acquainted that Steve came to Iurgi and I with a massive 10 page document of how the narrative structure should work. I was so convinced that I stood back from the project and Steve along with Iurgi put together the masterplan he had drawn up and that Iurgi and I had Okayed. So thank you for all Steve and also for the support.

One very special thing had happened and that was Matt Kosub, who is an actor and was to play Ralph Fender. He was to go over to Japan to play in Blues Brothers. But that is where the special thing happened, he got a hold of someone he knew could play the part and that was Christian Cavallo. An excellent Actor who by the end of filming had embodied Ralph so much that we had an improvisational interview with him as Ralph, he nailed him perfectly and if you ever get a chance to see it, there are Fenderisims throughout it.

Another key recruit was that of Paul Congdon who, through the Frankston arts center where he and Iurgi worked together. A jovial character himself, he was absolutely perfect for Ray Fender, Ralph's brother. He gave us comedic relief and a strong character performance saw his character move from supporting to equal lead role. Paul has this natural ability to make a scene funny.

Through the leads we eventually got Sarah Watson as Ralph’s girlfriend Susie Archer. Sarah had performed with Christian in ‘Grease’. We were very lucky to get Sarah. Sarah has a professionalism I have not yet seen in an actor. She had a massive monologue and she nailed every word on the first take. She was the perfect accompaniment for Ralph’s quirky character.

So meet two of my friends Luca and Marco Finanzio. the only cast members that got a gig from the old film. Luca and Marco have this amazing chemistry together, they kind of know what the other is going to say. They also have an unbelievable ability to ‘spin shit’ ! Something I know Luca and I used to do also as youngsters. They were a perfect fit for the agent and producer Leon and Charlie King. From the first film the really had their characters down, so for this version I wrote some of their characters into their lines. For two men who have had no experience at improvisational acting, my hats of to you. 

We also had the beautiful pleasure of welcoming Gaye Meadows who would play Rosaline Fender into the mix. She was superb. Gaye has this beautiful motherly aspect to her, comforting, warming and always smiling. She did a fantastic job of creating the warm Rosaline.

Anna Meadows playing a younger version of Rosaline in one cameo scene was fantastic, She was very professional and is always a pleasure to work with giving her all, wether it be acting, producing, costume, make up, first a.d-ing,, she was truly amazing and an amazing friend through the filming and still is. And good luck to Anna Meadows and Sarah Watson on being part of the musical ‘Dusty’!

One little man I cant forget to mention is Rafael. Yes that tiny little actor over there. (points) Here are some facts you may not know about him, he is an actor -yes, he made his debut as a one year old -yes, and lastly he knew all of his lines - ma-ma,,he-he, and my fave wah! Thank your Rafael and hopefully one day you will see the film and understand it. Thank you to Natashia and Damian for allowing to use Rafael in our film!

I want to also thank David Muscat who is now in the UK looking for acting work who laid down the voice of Ralph’s father Frederick, it was a long process to get him as we had 5 actors who could do the job. David got it eventually because of his quirkiness. that fitted fender perfectly.

I also want to thank Cameron Myrtle for producing a beautiful and quirky film score. He spent an amazing amount of hours refining the score along with Iurgi producing him. Originally the score was produced 4 years ago by Bruno Montesano and I. but Cameron took that and all the notes and references I could give him and created his own pieces. Cameron your music fills all the holes in the film, it links all the emotions and conveys the feel a director wants an audience to have. He is very talented. it is perfect. A massive thank you.

I also want to thank Paul Azcue, who played a cameo. Matthew O’Carroll who contributed two of his songs. Dianne Jeffery for her equipment and also Spencer Barnes who were down for England for one of our shoots and helped. John McAuslan who put together a distinct colour grade to the film, he delivered the look I always had visioned in Fender, Excellent work. Haimar Olaskoaga who in Spain went out of his way to produced a professional Sound Mix. Also Inaki Txiko who also in Spain acted as our second unit and got shots of Donostia to represent when the film moves there and also photographed the film poster dictaphone for us. My brother Jason who also worked on the film as a production assistant and on sound and who would drive around to all the local locations and get up nice and early to help on sets.

I want to send out a massive thank you to My mum, who without her would not have had the support and drive to continue with this film for the last 2 years. She is magnificent and supportive, all a young man could ask for. I know I have given her some headaches along the way so thank you for putting up with me.

I want to also give a massive thank you to my brothers Jason and Benny who are magnificent and continue to give me support and love. Throughout the shoot and the planning of this event they have been an ever presenting bundle of help, with a hand in everything you see here tonight, projector, sound, etc.

Lastly I want to thank Benny for catering for tonight, taking days off to prepare and cook up a storm, that I know everyone loves. You out did yourself. An Amazing cook.

I am forever grateful for everyone in the extended Fender Family. I would gladly do it all over again and not change a thing.

That is maybe a little re-write!

Enjoy your night.

Dean Marando
28th May 2010

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Undrafted Rambling

Sometimes I clearly have something to say,
Sometimes I tend to jot jibberish,
I like to interact, with the words in my mind,
the numbers in my heart, counting the seconds,
I still love you Melbourne
We have so much in common,
Four seasons in one day,
I feel sorry for the ones that are tempered,
Creativity is inspiration, is an open mind, is blood, oxygen and water,
At it's primal, humanity is a creation, an evolving mess, caught in it an ever flowing dislike for one-another, for war, greed, and discourse.
Like an undrafted rambling, life exists
Like the thoughts of an individual
we are all up in the air, we float around through the misanthropy, through the need for company, through the love and lost.
Struggling to search for the ends of the universe,
to discover the science that makes us.
To have everything is to have nothing
To know all is to have nothing
Everything is nothing,
Nothing ... is something.

To bleed, love, fear, laugh, cry, feel is to Be

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Triangle (2009)

Jess: [first lines - consoling her child] Oh you're just having a bad dream, that's all baby. That's all it was. Bad dreams make you think you're seeing things that you haven't. You know what I do when I have bad dream? I close my eyes and I think of something nice - like being here with you. 

Okay so I viewed Triangle, English Director, American speaking characters, set in Australia. Not a bad combination if we are talking film culture, but it irritated me in this film. Why on Earth do we see (Melissa George-Australian) playing an American on the Sunshine Coast meeting up with American friends. It had me dazzled and nearly made me forget to view the film as it should be.

The film has had a long wait for release and one of the reasons I believe is, it doesn't know where it sits along the lines of distribution. Having said all this, I was attached to the film as soon as she (Melissa George) 'boards' the narrative! A psychological thriller that works. I have not seen too many of them in recent times. My feeling is they just don't work, flashbacks and forwards are too intrusive. This one does.

I won't give very much away because it will give away the storyline of the film and you really need that to strum along with the beats. I think apart from my negative thoughts on the directors choice to take a slice of many nations pies and you can get past that, the film works and it is entertaining and will make you think. Give it a go.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Who Do I Think I Am?

I have been encapsulated by the "Who do you think you are" Television series. I started out viewing the Australian one, then got caught up in the UK one and last night viewed for the first time the US one. Let me tell you, it's edited like an episode of 'Kitchen Nightmares' Please stop, take a leaf out of the UK's book, please, but that is another story (rant).

I really want to find my family! No, I actually want to know about my ancestors. I know who I am, no discovery of ancestors losses or gains will alter that, I just want to know where I come from, where I get certain traits from and where my parents traits come from etc.

I have observed that some families just don't talk about their history, I want to find mine while everyone is still alive. So I will sit down with my Mum soon enough and write down all I know about her side, I will then fill in the blanks with my own research. I'm no genealogist but I will try.

It's exciting

Saturday, April 17, 2010

World's Greatest Dad (2009)

I must say overall I liked it this film. I thought the direction was lost a little. There are a lot of things open for interpretation which I like, use of music was really bad. Film without any morales. I disagree with the notion that as long as the bad guy learns something by the end, then the film sits morally correct. It just doesn't do that for me. It doesnt have to by standards, but it was quite disturbing given the subject matter.

I always enjoy Robin Williams performances but I must say I felt cheated with him in it. He was excellent, but I have seen it so many times before and I would of felt more for someone else playing this role.

I enjoy black humour, but sometimes it just does not work here, I didn't know whether to laugh or not. I understand black humour does that, but I want to be able to laugh out loud at something disturbing portrayed with that little bit of charm, this film doesn't have that charm, like I have seen in many other films in this weird and wacky genre.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Remember Fender Premiere Screening

Our film 'Remember Fender' has been complete for a month now. It was rejected from 500 applicants in the St. Kilda Film Festival to make finals and have a premiere screening. We have now lined up 17 film festivals till November to enter it into. They are more appropriate festivals. It's my belief that 39:58 minutes was probably way too long for St. Kilda. In recent years they have not had anything screen over 20 minutes. So the festivals we have lined up will fit our film much more.

So without a public premiere insight, we have decided to hold a semi private event for the film. Getting the cast and crew together was impossible. Out of 16 dates, the date we have is based on percentage of attendees. We have maybe 60% of crew and cast committed. The event invitation can be found here.

The numbers are looking good and the response from attendees is a little overwhelming. You see with two weeks remaining to gather numbers we are already nearing 45 people. I have started to become nervous now. It seems real. I really don't want to host the event in any form. There is something pig headed about the whole idea of hosting a film premiere that you are an integral member of. I would absolutely love not to be there and someone film the event so I can gauge guests reactions towards the films first screening. It has only been seen by 4 people, Editors and myself.

I know that if spirits are high and I am feeling good on the night, I can mix it up with the best of them. But I am a reserved person by nature. I only show my true colours when I know someone. I have discussed it with my 'Partners in crime' Iurgi Urrutia and Steve Ramsie, that I infact feel like a bit of a show-off. I feel this way because who the heck am I to invite friends to view something that could be outrageously bad? I know how I feel about the film, but the event in it's self is a 'look at me, open for criticism'. I understand this is part of the game. I want in, but i'd rather do it as big brother. I guess I can't hide anymore.

I've shown smaller works before, I mean I showed the old 2006 Remember Fender to a packed class of colleagues at university. I warn you, I go red in the face, perspire and my heart beats like a motherf###r! Now I have to show this film to friends, family friends, cast, crew, people I don't know and a larger audience. Oh and I'm sure I'll have to say something. The only time I had to get up in front of a crowd other than school or uni, was my grandmothers funeral in 1997. I was sixteen. I grew up in that week leading up to my beautiful grandmas death. I had to, my father didn't give a fuck to show any support to my Mother. I felt like a man, I felt alive, I felt like a writer for the first time.

I got up to do the Eulogy, yes me, a 16 year old, you see my brothers were much younger along with my cousins. I was close to my grandmother and I wanted to say something. My younger cousins read passages, which I knew were hard to do. I felt like I was on another planet. A day before I started writing. I didn't write a Eulogy, I wrote a short story. It was a metaphor for the living and the dead, that involved my Grandmother. It demonstrated how loosing someone was not the end. You see my faith was strong then, instilled by my grandmother. I was proud of myself that day reading to about 300 people, I didnt cry, I was calm, probably the most calm I have ever been. It's hard to watch someone die but it helps you live. I still have it and read it every now and then. A week later we got a visit from a nurse who worked with patients on the verge of the end. She asked if she could use it to read to families of patients. I felt like a writer.

If only I could write my way out of this premiere.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

What's A Man?

"How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?"

Thanks Mr. Dylan, thank you for the question. On this day many years ago Bob Dylan finished writing 'Blowin' in the wind' from which he posed that question. Obviously the question is not literal. I've walked down many roads in my time.

A road metaphorically speaking can be seen as a place, a journey, a space, a thought, a mind, I could go on and on. I believe it to be an experience, of all of those metaphors mentioned, how will you know unless you go?

More pivotal is his next line

"the answer my friend is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind"

Like a God, he delivers us the answer. So firstly is it an answer to how many roads we probable men must go down? I think not. I believe it to be a lost boys interpretation of not knowing the answers.

You see being male, does not necessarily make you a man, being 18, or 21 or 30 or married or having a child or in control of a billion dollar company does not either. So what makes a man? Is he the sum of all his experiences? how many experiences do you need to qualify?

I promise you the answer is in the second sentence. I promise.

In the words of Willie Wonka "it's right here, black and white clear as crystal"

Now you need to accept

Friday, March 26, 2010

Mobile Man: Episode 3

Check out the latest episode in the Mobile Man animated series brought to you with the assitance of Mobile Man has his first lesson.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Film Festival Nightmares

This dream is taken from 1st March 2010.

My dream last night was seeing the official selection list for the St. Kilda Film Festival. There were twenty selected, eventually having 100. Our film 'Remember Fender' is actually entered into in real life, decision day is April 2nd. It was not on the list. We hadn't made the cut so far.

I knew time, I knew it was the start of March. I guess, now, I'm really thinking about it.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Mobile Man Episode 2

This week's installment of 'Mobile Man' Episode 2 The Cape

Friday, March 12, 2010

Escape From Alcatraz (1979)

Clint Eastwood plays the central protagonist Frank Morris, who along with two brothers Clarence and John Anglin escape the un-escapable prison walls int his true story that led to the demise of the infamous Alcatraz prison in San Francisco.

This was my third helping of the film and it gets better each time. Director Don Siegel who has worked with Eastwood a few times, allows for the actions of prisoners to be substituted for dialogue or close ups to display the angst and despair of men not only locked up in prison, but coming under the rule of the sadistic Warden played by Patrick McGoohan who feels it appropriate to go above and beyond the normal treatment of these criminals. The Warden's character is used to great affect, grabbing the audience and swaying them to the criminals side. But really why wouldn't you be gunning for the badie when he is escaping a prison? I mean unless his motive is to rape and murder. The audience is allowed to cheer without morale suspicion, while watching the 'heroes' execute their plan.

This film is a little gem and I feel had definitely been a blueprint for another jail film fifteen years later The Shawshank Redemption. You have a feeling that this film inspired Steven King's writing especially for the escape part of that film. It is is apparent from the chipping away at crumbling walls to the disposing of the sand and rocks secretly in the yard. I take nothing away from Shawshank as it holds up it's own all the way.

There are some special scenes where a prisoner asks for a hack axe in wood shop after having his painting privileges taken away from him by the warden. You won't guess what happens.

Modern suspense/thriller sequences are edited for fast pace, anxious music and hopefully culminating in achieving the suspense. In Escape From Alcatraz there is none of that. The music is low and can be heard only at certain points and the sequence is drawn out, instead of viewing a quick clip of the three prisoners going down a pipe, climbing a barbed wire fence etc. here, we see all of the action. By doing this, the suspense grows, each second counts, we wait for the tower lights to move out of the spotlight as our characters do. That is how you do suspense, by putting us there with the characters.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Ralph Fender Inside His Creators Mind

Check out the imaginative character Ralph Fender from inside his creators mind. He chats about the film and his inception for the film Remember Fender.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Pulp Fictitious

My 3rd Animation thanks to Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction and again is Pulp Fictitious. Two actors on a talk show set run through the dialogue from the scene where Julius and Vincent are cleaning the car filled with brain and blood. Enjoy I hope.

Remember Fender Catch Up

(Steven Walshe interpretation of Ralph Fender (Right) who is the central protagonist in the film)

A little reminder that A Handmade Candor film Remember Fender is complete. It is entered into the St.Kilda Film Festival and team will be notified before April 3rd if we have premiere status. If not we plan to have a premiere of our own very soon. It is very important, for none of the cast and crew (apart from 2/3 of the editors have seen it in full, not even myself!) The film will continue to be entered into film festivals home and abroad. So wish us luck.

This has been my dream, I have worked on this project since October 2008, so no matter what my life may entail in the future, i will never regret 'not following my dream. I am happy, fearful, melancholic and a little lost without my baby anymore. But on to bigger things now. I hope we can get some recognition for all the hard work everyone has put into OUR film.

There will be more to come from me in the near future. To keep you in the loop, below i have attached links and multimedia to keep you up to date. Cheers and thanks for all your support.

Remember Fender - Temporary Official Website

All the information you need

Facebook Film Fan Page Site

207 official fans. Find photographs, video's, Ralph Fender's projects, updates...etc.

A Sneak Peek
It's Dangerous - A Funny Outtake

Teaser Trailer

Sports Cast: Butchering

Check out my new animation from Sports Cast: Butchering about an Aussie Butcher named Ronald who is interviewed by a Sporting program about his world record fastest venison dish from turf to plate.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

We Are Of The Crust

From a tomb to an urn,
we all learn.
To Earth's floor,
gravity is but a door.
Pulling us into it's centre,
for us to enter.
We'll turn to dust,
in the sky with gust.

We are of the crust.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Mobile Man

Check Out the new Mobile Man sketch created by myself with the assistance of

Le scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell And The Butterfly) (2007)

Jean-Dominque Bauby: I decided to stop pitying myself. Other than my eye, two things aren't paralyzed, my imagination and my memory.

Oh! what a magnificent film. Diving Bell is quite an experience. Simple plot, a man has a stroke now he is rendered mute, paralyzed and can only see out of one eye. How can he communicate? and how can an audience really understand this? Diving Bell is a breakthrough film in my opinion, it creates a new way of film-making, i'm sure there have been example in film history that proceed this, but this has to be the best portrayal of human interaction I have ever seen.

The director Julian Schnabel has to be congratulated, his craft here is astonishing in telling the true tale of the based on true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby (Jean-Do) an Editor for 'Elle' magazine played by Mathieu Amalric in a magnificent performance. The screenplay is just magic and look out for Anne Consigny who plays his speech nurse.

The cinematography is above all what makes this film work, usually I get a little motion sickness with this sort of camera work, but not in this film. It creates a vision of what this man lives with, it doesn't disturb your viewing experience, it creates an experience.

Rating: 4.5/5
Le scaphandre et le papillon (The Diving Bell And The Butterfly) Trailer

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Garden State (2004)

Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff), is an actor drugged up on tranquilisers for the most part of his life, he simply forgets how to feel, socially inept, incapable of love. He comes back to his home town for his Mother's funeral. Andrew bumps into former friends from high school, who have not left the small town and have lives not dissimilar to his own.

meets a cute and loving girl named Sam (Natalie Portman) she is the sun to his clouded mind, they connect through their own afflictions. There is a special moment where Sam asks Andrew to do something unique, anything;

Sam: This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.

This scene really set's up Andrew's character for what is to come.

I feel Garden State is quite a personal film for Zach Braff who writes, directs and plays the main role here. I would love and have anticipated another film he has directed but it hasnt to be the case, Maybe because of his ongoing work on TV hit Scrubs or for the simple fact that these moving films only come from life experience. I have viewed this film quite a few times now and it resonates with me on a personal level also. I am by no means an actor or the same person Zach Braff inhabits, but the themes and lessons of this film hit home like any of the millions of people nearing 30, hitting brick walls and still trying to find your way in life.

The writing is masterful, the acting along with Peter Sarsgaard who plays his friend Mark and his Father played by Ian Holm are amazing and touching. Cinematography for the film has that suburban local feel that works great for the piece. The music plays a massive part in the film, lyrics that bend into dialogue infrequently to remind you of the pain inside the brain. If you haven't, do yourself a favour and grab the soundtrack along with the film.

Rating: 4.5/5
Garden State Trailer

Friday, March 5, 2010

Spelling Not On Target

Target the store has a new TV advertisement which is 'targeted' towards school kids. It's slogan is "Biggerest and Besterest Kids Sale" admittedly they want to cash in on the needs of kids at 20% off retail price. Fine. Do what you have to.

But when you send out a message to children please get the spelling right. Biggerest and Besterest are not words from the English language, they are words children make up when they can't find a word to describe how the new toy they have is 'better' than the last! Smart parent's will pull their children up and teach them the correct words.

Target, you are setting an awful example. Now kids have a precedent;

"But Mummy, it is a word at target"
"Daddy, it's spelled like that in this magazine"

Look at the introduction of the SMS (Short Message Service) for mobile phones. Young people have undoubtely been changing the English language since its inception. You may blame them, I blame the network carriers whom charge(d) 15-30 cents per 160 characters. I also wrote this short-shorthand style when I was younger, substituting letters for numbers like 'great' to gr8' etc. I got to an age and found myself using it in emails, till I pulled myself up on it and thought, I can't write like this to a client, scholar, colleague. We have caps on phones now, send as many messages, emails as you want, so there are no more excuses.

The scary part is it is creeping into schools and students works. I think the worst example is the shortening of 'The' to 'da', that is a whole different situation where the whole word's sound is changed. I will only touch on spelling, It is awful, I used to pride myself on spelling as a kid, of course I still get words wrong and that is down to using spell checks on a computer.

I just hope Target get a good kick in the backside and don't make the same mistake again. I may sound pretentious, a couple of innocent, playful words, who cares right? Well probably no one, but please understand that these are the seeds planted non-intentionally that will only start to eat away at the English language.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


I have recently started a new journal full of my dreams. I remember never really jotting them down for the simple fact that, I have missed out on so many dreams, so why start now. Silly, I know. See I want to account for them, I always have, I just needed to get started. Oh and it is so painful waking at 4am with a dream and having to write it down. Especially when you wake during an amazing dream, you don't want to loose the link to that dream, so you try to get back to sleep as quick as possible.

So I will be blogging about dream's also from now on.

The first of two dream's was me picking these red tiny flowers my Mother has and she telling me off "Stop picking all my Pink Rose's" Strange I know.

The second dream was about a friend of a friend who had an amazing singing voice and didn't know it. We were in a theater. His lyrics and sound were amazing, I wish I could remember them. We also had dinner at my house later on in the dream. I remember singing Simon and Garfunkle's "The Only Living Boy In New York" I was quite good too, which doesn't parody real life.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Son Of Rambow (2007)

Will Proudfoot: Good morning, Lee Carter. I'm here to help you!
Lee Carter: Jesus Christ!

A story of two young boys, the 'Good Boy' who only recently lost his Father, from a strict, religious family is Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner) and the 'Bad Boy' a spoiled boy, with absent parents and a nonchalant brother Lee Carter (Will Poulter).

The pair unite as Will sits class out in the hallway as he is not to watch Television. Lee get's kicked out as usual for being a menace. Through the latest film release 'First Blood' the first in the Rambo series. Being rich, Lee has access to a video camera, which is currently used by himself under his brothers rule to duplicate releases of new films. The film is spent watching the pair produce an action film with Will's character Son Of Rambow spawned from the action film hero Rambow.

Issues of religion, family, love and loss are explored while watching the unlikely pair form a loving friendship. The film follows a familiar path many 'boy's growing up' films do, but you take that with a grain of salt and really enjoy the ride. The originality comes from the Screenplay and it's dialogue between the cast, it is fantastic, the performances memorable and wonderful cinematography.

I thought of giving this a good/solid rating, but i will recommend this film. It reminded me of being a boy again, coming home dirty, stories of adventures and learning through failing and falling.

Son Of Rambow Trailer

Monday, March 1, 2010

To Entertain

It was early, they told him it was late. Playing with his light bulb, he tempted fate to see if currents ran through the elements. Nothing, but silence. Tip toeing out of bed to where the putty met the 6mm nails on the old dry floorboards as to not make a creek or a sound. He got to the door...again silence. Index finger swiped the almost shut door, ajar. A faint scream could be heard in the room of his destination. It died down. The hallway had been reached, he was in the dark now.

Silence yet again filled the house. He walked on the balls of his feet and sometimes rotating to the sides as to not make a sound. A calling bell started to chime, he froze on the balls of his feet, a tissue fell to the floorboards from his pyjama shirt pocket and landed on the top of his foot. Disgusted with the phlegm covered tissue on his foot, he felt the itch to move his statue like position, but he could not give his status away. He fought off the strain in his ankles and liquid that was now running under his feet.

The bell got louder till there was a scream, he could not have timed it better, his ankles gave way, and fell onto the hard floorboards. The ankle had definitely been sprained and he now had a wet foot. A mystically eerie, organ ran through the house, he thought all or nothing, being careful not to slip on his wet foot he ran as fast as he could, turned the corner, to the ambient kitchen and slid under the table and chairs. The music had instantly stopped.

He had made it, he knew he could not move, so his stomach and protruding ribs gave into the cold floor, his legs elevated to his bottom, as a bit of lingering phlegm fell onto his pyjama bottoms, he relaxed nothing could dampen his mood now. With his elbows placed onto the floor, his palms rested encasing his small chin. He turned to gather prime position. The glow on the television was brighter than ever before, there seemed to be more of an array of colours than in day. It was if it was a new technology that easily matched or bettered any toy he had or pined for.

He watched the horror film with glee.

Grandma's Boy (2006)

Alex: My grandma drank all my pot.
Jeff: That's awesome.
Alex: What?
Jeff: I mean, how many people can say that in a lifetime?

Where do I start with this one? Don't answer. Please.

The plot: A programmer for game consoles, has to move out of his place. He moves in with grandma. A lot of depth I know!

Alex Covert play's the character Alex who is in his mid 30s, he looks about 45, actually he looks like Huey Lewis. I'll be honest, this film was on Television and I only watched it for I saw clips of Jonah Hill in the Advertisements. He is not really in this film.

Above all, this film is not really funny, the jokes are there, but have either been done before or are on the shoulders of Alex Covert the Huey Lewis lookalike, who can't really act at all. Apparently he has been in most Adam Sandler films. Hmm! Linda Cardellini is good and Doris Roberts seems to have been written in as the same Marie character from Everybody Loves Raymond. Oh and upon viewing the site, I found the film won an award, yes thats right a Razzie Award for the wonderful talent of Rob Schneider who has never ever been good in anything I have seen. He is woeful, he isn't even a comic, he is an impersonator of what he thinks are lesser human beings, hold a second, on that summation I must say he was great in Judge Dredd as the guy who mocks Sylvester Stallone after all that was his character!

If you are looking for a film to do ironing to, or just reading your old golf magazines, with soundbites in the background, this may be it.


Saturday, February 27, 2010

We Write

Jotting anecdotes,
from days of yore.
Memories we wear as coats,
leave you sore.

Inland... isolated,
growing waters surround us.
Quicksand's elated,
sinking, no time for fuss.

I write,
with your light,
you write,
from my height,

we write.

Friday, February 26, 2010


You live within, without a soul,
feeding on the air I breathe.
Suckling my serotonin is your goal,
burying fear, on that day you'll leave.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Orange Rectangle

I closed my eyes. I saw colour. A tiny orange dot. I thought it may have been the light protruding my eyelid. I then covered my eyes with my palm. The orange dot slowly got brighter and bigger. A rectangle of orange. I don't know why, but I, quickly opened my eyes. The magic dissipated. I wanted it back. I closed them again. Nothing. I thought to induce it and stared into the 100 watt globe. I closed my eyelids again. Nothing.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Adventureland (2009)

Sue: What are you majoring in? Joel: Russian literature and Slavic languages. Sue: Oh wow, that's pretty interesting. What career track is that? Joel: Cabby, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster.

It's 1987 and teenagers will inevitably do what they do. Experiment with alcohol, sometimes drugs, party, and chase after the opposite sex. In recent years the teenage flick has got smarter. Superbad is a great example of the sort. For me Adventureland is a throw back to the 80s teenage flick. Mostly apparent in John Hughes films like Sixteen Candles (1984) & The Breakfast Club (1985). The director Greg Mottola of Superbad, wrote this one and he nailed it. The film is sweet, subtle and the characters all have a lot of depth to them.

It was a pleasure watching the story unfold. Sometimes in the teenage flick you get the sense that when there is a dramatic scene to be played out between boy and girl respectively, it is always done in an immature way. Here Mottola gives his characters a much more mature way in resolving drama's, which is smart considering that teenagers are always involved in adult content. It seems much more real. Adventureland is a drama that has some very funny content. In the same vein of those early John Hughes films.

Look for the scene where Em (Kirsten Stewart) and James (Jesse Eisenberg) are driving along, to The Velvet Underground's Pale Blue Eye's. A special understated moment that uses music extremely well.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Funny Games (2007)

Anna: Why don't you just kill us?
Peter: (smiling) You shouldn't forget the importance of entertainment.

Michael Haneke 's remake of his own film from 1997 is Funny Games (Austria). A tale of a family who go on holiday to their vacation house upon a lake. Starring Naomi Watts and Tim Roth in what is very much a thriller with horrific elements. Naomi Watts had a hand here getting this film up, even helping finance it as Executive Producer.

For the first 21 minutes, I could have sworn this film was directed by Alfred Hitchcock himself. To quote the man himself "There is no terror in a bang, only in the anticipation of it" Haneke masters it then gloats a little. It works. I was lucky to have the film on DVD, I had to keep pausing it at intervals as to let my heart restart a little. Yes at times I forgot to breathe.

There is a shot that runs over 5 minutes as you are forced to be disturbed. Get prepared. There are messages sprinkled throughout the film, like when the criminals chat to the audience and ponder what they are seeing, sometimes it seems like an attack on Horror seeking audiences. I loved it. Great film-making is about being original while telling a narrative, a hard task these days, Hanneke achieves this feat.

If this is not great film-making, then I have no idea what is. To me Funny Games is a pure thriller, you jump on board and enjoy the ride.

Funny Games Trailer

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The One-Liner

Currently there is a time-slot uncertainty war between Jay Leno and Conan. It got me to thinking about the late Johnny Carson. You see this all comes about with change. David Letterman seems safe...for now. I'll drop another name, Ed Sullivan. I grew up watching these blokes in Australia, not live, I mean Carson and Sullivan were before my time. I watched them on video's and part of my Martin and Lewis collections.

One-liners, I believe are the root of all comedy. There is a genius behind the one-liner. It's easy enough to state an observation, but to lead an audience to a joke, then swing them another way and still be funny is pure genius. Johnny Carson was King. Up until his death, he still wrote one-liners for David Letterman's stand up at the start of his own show. Having watched a charity benefit he hosted last minute with The Rat Pack this man held his own, while visibly being stunned by the star power he had on display. The one-liner is a throw back to a golden age of comedy. Something we are now missing unfortunately. There may be people out there applying this trade still, but it does not get the recognition it deserves.

I accidentally started a thread of them on facebook with friend Steve Ramsie. Note it get's a bit weird towards the end.

So to pay homage to the one-liner and Johnny Carson.

Dean Today was so hot joke #53
Today was so hot, I saw a tree begging for a do to take a leak on it.

Today was so hot, the pilot light kept blowing itself out.

Today was so hot my air conditioning jumped into my freezer.

Today was so hot that listening to Hanson's Snowed In album actually seemed like a good idea.

Today was so hot, I used my hatching chicks incubator as a cooler

Today was so hot, I didn't need to order a Hot Ball from the Pancake Parlour. I already have two.

Today was so hot, I kept stumbling over my testicles as I walk.

Today was so hot, I actually had to tell Natalie Portman to put on some clothes, put a bag on her head and act ugly.

Today was so hot, my sun tan peeled off and ran away.

Today was so hot, my sunscreen told me 'Uh-uh! I want my own protection, bitch'.

Today was so hot, I used SPF get the fuck out of the sun

Today was so hot, acid seemed to burn less than the sun.

Today was so hot, my liver asked for another beer.

Today was so hot, my body appeared as a mirage.

Today was so hot, Britney Spears actually had a reason to strip off.

Today was so hot, the freezer wanted an ice-bath, but all the ice attempted to sail to their homeland Antartica. Tragically, none of them made it.

Today was so hot, old dirty men in hospitals and nursing homes jumped at the chance to ask for a sponge bath.

Today was so hot, spicy curries were cold in comparison.

Today was so hot, The aliens passing through thought they had stumbled upon hell.

Today was so hot, people thought going to Hell would be a great way to cool off.

Today was so hot, steve and dean started a neverending string of "today was so hot" jokes.

Today was so hot, I'm not really sure when this strand might end.

Today was so hot, that the sun heard Steve's last comment and made it it's creed to wilt all humans. This went on for years. Until humans invented an SPF go fuck yourself sun and eventually the population was restored. The sun, the creator of SPF go fuck yourself and Steve are in talks to produce the film based on real events with the biggest budget ever...apparently the film will open to a " today was so hot....." line

Today wasn't that hot.