Thursday, August 19, 2010

Is This Correct?

Is this correct
I feel a change coming on
my own government abandons me

Thanks to family and friends
I will have support
caring and filled with love

When fear and frustration collide
there will be no reason to hide
only the nerves that rest inside

To the one's that left
I feel only calm
go with my love

Don't, don't me
I will as I will
living inside a beautiful world

Trading the comfy warmth
for a trip up the icy road
spray as you go

With a whisper and a hug
they set me off
to be alone again

Fictitious songs and films
building courage in a paper bag
no torch for my map

Is this correct?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

She's A Ghost Inside Me

Purse your salty lips,
oceans she sips.

Homebound at our alter,
perfect you will never falter.

Leave and give way,
don't stay.
Recall the lyrics,
of our hysterics.

I run through the forest,
in my sunday best.
This is what I see,
all the ghosts that live inside me went free.


Hey You

I know I inherited it from you,
why didn't you tell me, warn me, help me?
It's only a hunch, because I don't know you.
Thinking of my lifeless life with you,
where was my lesson, my warning?
thanks for all the nothing you did,
know I'm you with the safety on,
give me your vice's for I don't need your virtue's
they don't reflect on me, so why do I need them?
A lot of questions need answering
why do I bear your scars?
Help me, now I'm asking
don't worry about it, it wasnt instant
what's the point of waiting on hope
when I am hardly of you
You taught me to do the opposite
I'm supposedly thankful
but I'm not a cliche'
thing's I lost in the storm
the constant struggle
not knowing which way you were flowing
I don't remember anything
I have no memories
Sad, fearful I lost
I have no photographs
there are no images of the good times
where there good times?
more questions
I know, I'm too much for you
I'm wrapped up in a ball of love
not your love
not of you
but love that needs filling
I know now that with or without
It needs filling
not by you, your chance has passed?
I don't know
I was a tree that needed to be pruned
Instead I collapsed on my self
surviving while the others flourish into the sky
My life is torment within life's garden
where are you?
Go away
your a contradiction I learnt
How will I ever be a man?
If you never were
Life without direction is like a puppet without a voice
someone pulls my strings
let them go
give me my own voice back
struggling to survive in this jungle of choices
this ocean of waves
in the desert of dry mouths
I needed a hand
a guide for this city
not a map
your hand
instead I write
searching, searching, searching
where was the folder I threw away?
case file: you
I need it
I'm without a base
no research
your a blank page
i don't know how to start my book
on your shoulders I once stood
but I know what I will do
what will I do?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My Heart Want's Out

This i'll shout,
my heart wants out.

Banging your drum,
along my throat,
to the beat of the hum,
it's all your fault.

This i'll shout,
my heart wants out.

Giving me a glance,
on my l.c.d.
you won't make me dance,
wrapped up, that's not me.

This i'll shout,
my heart want's out.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Your Words

Again music is fueling me writing,
makes me forget all the over sighting.
don't pay for your words.

When all the shyness,
leaves me with nothing less.
don't pray for your words.

Like a rake in the sand,
she cheers me with a wave of her hand.
don't cut your words.

Loosing the colours from my eyes,
a little in her dies.
don't write your words.

She finds comfort in me,
we promise just to be.
don't justify your words.

One day i''l write a masterpiece,
from her I will lease.
don't forget your words.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Title?

So I just got a massive burst of inspiration for a new short film I am writing. I know the plot and as usual it will be a few days before my team find out. You see I have been jotting in my Project 2010 notebook. I can't write on this keyboard creatively, which I am sure you are all aware.

Anyhow, now I am in the midst of changing the name. Checking with IMBD to see if the film clashes, that isn't so bad I guess, but you don't want the same sort of film with the same name to exist, to me, it is just wrong.

I have "Living within a house of cards" for the moment. It seems too long, but is that a bad thing? probably not, but most importantly it needs to prompt an audience to view, not be overused and have specific meaning to the story. Anyhow I will keep working it out. No rush.

In other news related, I have an ending. Actually I have a couple. What's more is that all the images of the story are in my head, and what's weird is that they are not leaving. I'm not forgetting them. A first for me as they usually leave like dreams escape before I write them down in the morning.

Can You Hear?

Cold day and you notice the sleeves
their dead on their knees
there is no devotion
only emotion
and they've worked out the crossword
singing without their songbird

Can you hear me at all?

Hot day and you notice no sleeves
their up from their knees
there is no emotion
only devotion
but they've ruined the crossword
singing with his songbird

Can you hear me now?

Thursday, August 5, 2010


This was her last day on Earth and she knew it. Her mind was clear, she knew what to do. You see, 3 months ago a she visited a palm reader and subsequently, this was the final day for her. She was ultra busy for the last 3 months and only managed to free up one day within that time. She decided to make it the last day for obvious reasons.

One thing was playing on her mind though. It was the thought of when? She knew it was this day, but when? at 11:59 and 59 seconds? or sometime during the day? or even the stroke of midnight, and how would she get the correct time synced to all of her expensive time reading devices.

Over the past 3 months her goal while still busy at work was to look up ebay in her spare time and purchase clocks, all sorts of time reading devices, from Analogue clocks, digital wrist watches, calculator clocks, new ipod docks, countdown and stop watches, dutch cuckoo clocks, she bought a sun dial she set up in her back yard and even an old grandfather clock made by a German time master from the world war II era. You name it, she probably had it.

Her house was like a clock museum awaiting the arrival of her death. She remembered, there was a cheap digital LCD watch the palm reader gave her. Maybe she could flip a switch and it would give her the time, from what she remembered it had only the date. She locked that away in mind and locked the digital watch away in a safe.

She ran upstairs hurriedly and in anticipation, came to the picture frame of a cat wearing a wrist watch and checking it smartly. Ripped the picture frame off, put in her code, 25 left, 13 right, 2 turns and 17 on the left. Click it was open. The wrist watch she couldn't get quick enough on her right wrist. The date read Thursday 12th of July, she looked over to her left wrist and it also read Thursday 12th of  July, she quickly clicked the switch on the left wrist watch and it read 11:49 A.M. she hesitantly reached over to her right wrist, pressed the switch, it read 3:30 P.M. That was sorted, her time of death would be no longer than 3 hours and 41 minutes.

She knew what she had to do, she had to set every clock in the house to ring at 3.30 P.M. She had grown accustomed to the rings, chimes, dings and even chirps of her the clocks, it was the sound she would die to. She quickly set her left wrist alarm for 3.30 then ran as quick as she could downstairs, wearing socks was probably a bad idea, as she slipped on the 7th step from the ground and tumbled over banging her head several times on the railing and steps.

Her story faded to black.

An annoying ringing could be heard. The kind of alarm that would wake the worst drunk. it was deafening to her ear. She was slowly coming through. Her eyes were adjusting as they squinted from black to sharp whites and quickly formed an image of her ceiling roof, slowly brought up her wrist to her eye line. The clock blurred into a vision that read 3:39 P.M.

She squealed in pain, but with joy. She was alive! The Alarm went off again after no snooze had been hit. Suddenly her life was in full grasp, she was back. She let out a whaling cry, full of life. She was happy and alive. She ripped off her watches and threw them to her left while still lying on her back. They hit something and broke, she gasped. She turned over in excruciating pain to see the damage she had caused.

A mirror awaiting her appearance was in full sight. she found it hard to make out as it was cracked in many places distorting the image. she panned down from her face til she got to her stomach and paused, then closed her eyes. She gulped expecting the worst. Slowly opening her eyes again, it was revealed, a chimney rod. It had pierced her belly, she let out a girlish cry. She had lost a lot of blood, she felt her self fainting again, she gave way to the feeling and her eyelids were closing slowly, her breathing became slower, til she faded away into the sounds of her alarm going off again another 9 minutes later.

Ode To Thom

A boy born into peril,
A boy with no family,
A boy that grew strong,
A boy who left town,
A boy with big love,
A boy who wrote a play,
A boy that had a boy,
A boy who died alone.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Weird In Winter

This may seem strange in early August and it's not the fact that I have a cold. It's not even that it was 12 degrees centigrade on Sunday with hail, wind and rain, but the fact that through my nasally cough, headache, sore throat etc. I can sense spring.

That's right, with this cold and in this state of being sick, my senses are feeling and smelling spring in the air. I told you this was strange. I guess when sick you take on a different kind of breathing pattern and a much more deeper and conscious one at that. I can smell the air, the grass, the rain and it's lovely.

I'm in a heightened state of being, my sleep is out of whack and im starting to feel warm where it's freezing cold. I'm not the kind to hate being sick with a cold, it never really bothers me, bar the sore throat which is atrocious for sleeping.

I'm going with the flow, feeling weird in winter.